Marik's Dance Party!
by Psycho BakuRyou
Summary: Marik's throwing a singing and dancing party! With Ryou in charge of the party favors, Bakura in charge of the DJ, and Yami Marik in charge of the food (big mistake)will everything be as it should or crumble and die! Hahaha...ha..um...lol very disturbing


It was one early morning….

"Hey Yami let's go bother Bakura!" Marik said annoyingly. "Don't come crawling to me when he pummels you and tells you to fuck off." Yami Marik said staring at his nails. "I just wanna make-out with Ryou. You think he'd let me?" Marik asked. Yami Marik laughed. "You're talking about Bakura Marik. Ryou's human shield. I think the only person that's allowed to touch Ryou…is well Bakura,"

"Well that's not very fair! Ryou loves me and I can prove it too! Let's go bother Bakura now Yami!" Marik growled. "Count me out I hate to get on Bakura's bitchy side. And who are you to boss me around?" Yami Marik asked raising his rod and cocking an eyebrow. "I know your deepest most inner secret you wouldn't want me to "accidentally" spill it now would you?" Marik smirked. "……………" Yami Marik looked around and bit his lip. "You know…the one about you in the bathroom and the—Marik starts laughing—diarrhea at the mall. Where you had me hold your hand and it looked like you'd been fucked by the ass. Yami Marik growled and blushed. "LEAVE ME ALONE! RA! IF YOU DRANK PRUNE JUICE YOU'D KNOW WHAT IT BE LIKE!" "You know you had a sick stomach and you just wanted to hold my hand because you…secretly love me." Marik smiled. "Kiss…my…big…ass I don't like you!" Yami Marik screamed. "Well…at least I'm not a fat ass like you!" He screamed. Yami Marik hides his snickers bar. "What are you talking _about!_ I'm not fat this is an awesome model body right here baby!" Marik coughed. "Yea, uh-huh you make obsess people seem 100 pounds thinner." Yami Marik sniffed and his voice was cracking. "Stop it Marik—sniffs loudly—you're…you're hurting my feelings!" Yami Marik cries hysterically and then stops abruptly. "Wait…what? Obese people seem 100 pounds thinner? That was so stupid Marik that didn't even make sense." "Talk to the hand Yami. I don't care. Really I don't. And by the way…I'm sorry. I know you can't help your over eating disorder. And I know you can't help being fat." Marik said trying to be consoling. Yami Marik cried. "Let's go see Bakura now. May-maybe he can…ease my pain." He said sticking a snickers bar in his mouth.

On their way to Ryou and Bakura's apartment…

"Where's my sexy little beast Ryou?" Marik asked looking around. "Hey Bakura!" Yami Marik said excitedly. "Oh great it's the fat ass." Bakura groaned. _So much for a pain easer_. Yami Marik thought. Marik rubbed his hands together. "Well, where's Ryou? I'm in a molesting mood." "You are not touching Ryou! You hear me!" Bakura yelled. "I'm just gonna play with him." Marik said unzipping his pants. "You little bitch! NO YOU CAN'T GO NEAR RYOU!" Bakura screamed angrily. "Why are you screaming Bakura? And…who can't come near me?" Ryou asked coming in. "Oh it's Ryou! Come here baby!" Marik said surprised and hugging him. "Hey Marik. Haven't seen you in about—looks at his watch—wow are you serious that long…a minute." He said. Marik rubbed Ryou's butt. "Felt like forever didn't it?" "Please don't touch me there." Ryou said uncomfortably. Bakura pushed Yami Marik on the floor and stood in front of Ryou shocked. "Where's he touching you!" he asked throwing Marik off him. Marik smiled. "Let's go somewhere private Ryou. I feel like doing naughty stuff to you." "Ok…" Ryou said strangely. "THE ONLY ONE THAT'S ALLOWED TO DO NAUGHTY STUFF TO RYOU IS ME AND NO ONE ELSE!" Bakura yelled and growled. Ryou blushed. "Really?" Marik gasped and choked on his air. "AHA! A confession!" He said. "I-no-I didn't say me! I said Marik!" Bakura stuttered. "Whoo!" Marik cheered. "It's on now! Let's go Ryou I got permission." He said grabbing Ryou's hand. "No! Not you!" Bakura groaned in frustration. "Why are you here _anyway!"_ "I told you already my dear sweet Bakura. I feel naughty and I wanna do Ryou." Marik said. "What's feeling naughty?" Ryou asked in confusion scratching his head. Yami Marik, and Bakura looked at Ryou. Marik just looked at Ryou and held down his pants.

Silence

Yami Marik gasped and broke the silence. "MY BUTTER FINGERS BAR!"

Yami Marik's precious butterfingers bar falls in slow motion to the floor. In deep slow mo voice Yami Marik yells "No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! My but-ter fin-gers!" The butterfingers (still in slow mo) finally hits the ground and breaks into thousands and jillions of tiny pieces.

Silence…again

The wind howls.

Yami Marik gets on his knees. "This…this was like…like a son to me…the son I've never had and now…-Yami Marik sniffs—now he's –his voice now breaks—he's GONE!" He starts crying hysterically and punching the floor. Everyone stayed quiet and looked at Yami Marik. They then saw the dogs go up to the broken butterfingers bar and feast on it. "WHY YOU LITTLE BITCHES THIS WAS MY CANDY BAR! YOU'RE EATING MY SON!" Yami Marik yelled wrestling the dogs to the floor and laughing manically when he gets them and eats it. Bakura clears his throat. "In other news…" Marik looks at Ryou's butt and gasps. "Ryou has a tre-tr-tremen-tremendo-trian-tremigous-tremend…uh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h," He said drooling in stupidity. "Tremendous" Ryou guessed. "Trigonometrical ass!" Marik screamed. "What the _fuck!"_ Bakura said in confusion. "I have a big butt?" Ryou asked looking at it. "Hell fuck yea!" Marik replied tapping it. "Hands off homo! This is my ass too!" Bakura said angrily blocking Ryou's butt. Marik got angry and raised his arms. "Then what the hell can I _have!"_ Bakura looks at Yami Marik eating like a fatass on the floor and points to him. "You can have Yami Marik." "Pssh! I don't want the fatass." Marik scoffed. "Just take it out on me. That's ok I don't have feelings." Yami Marik said. "Ok." Bakura said. "Damn Yami Marik's put on quite a few pounds. You really let yourself go there Yami." He said shocked. "I'M NOT FAT! THIS IS BABY FAT! IT'S BEEN WITH ME FOREVER!" Yami Marik shouted. Marik snorted and laughed.

Pause

Marik what the hell type of laugh was that it was like….

Laughs goofily and snorts.

"I've always laughed like that." Marik said blushing. "…No one ever told me what felt naughty meant." Ryou said. Yami Marik and Bakura looked at Ryou. Marik stared at his ass and a bit of butterfingers fell from Yami Marik's lips making him panic.

Silence…once more

The sound of a candy wrapper opening was heard in the silence propping up Yami Marik's ears and head. Ryou gulped and Marik made freaky perverted noises ignoring Bakura glaring at him. "Who's got it?" Yami Marik asked looking suspiciously at his culprits Bakura, Marik, and Ryou. "H-has what?" Ryou asked nervously shoving the candy bar in his pants. Yami Marik sniffs Bakura. "What the fuck are you _doing!_ Get away from me!" Bakura yelled. Yami Marik moves his head slowly from side to side and said "No…it's not Bakura" and then goes off sniffing Marik. Marik started moaning. "Oh yes Yami." He moaned. "Ok…it's not him either." Yami Marik said looking at Marik strangely. Ryou begins breaking down in a sweat. "Ryou are you ok? You're sweating." Bakura asked moving closer to him. Ryou begins thinking and he gasps. "Oh Bakura! I don't feel good at all! My head hurts! My stomach hurts! My butt hurts! I have the sniffles—sniffs and sneezes—and and—thinks one more time—I'm in need of attention!" He cried. Marik cooed and cupped his hands. "Aw-w-w-w the poor baby! I'll give you all the attention you need Ryou." Marik said hugging him. _Yea in bed._ Marik thought. "Come on Ryou! I'll give you attention and I'll make you feel better." Bakura growled grabbing Ryou's hand. Ryou sighed in relief and noticed Yami Marik sniffing him as he passed by. _Shit!_ Ryou thought. "It's you! You have the candy bar!" Yami Marik shouted pointing his finger. Ryou begins sweating some more and whispers to Bakura "Walk faster!" "You can't hide it from me bitch! I know you have it!" Yami Marik said grabbing Ryou. Ryou jumps into Bakura's arms screaming. "Save me Baku! Save me!" He screamed. "Back off Yami Marik. Ryou doesn't have any food." Bakura said pushing Yami Marik away with his leg. He began walking away and Ryou started waving the candy bar in the air teasingly. Yami Marik screams. "SHARK BAIT BOO-HAA-HAA!" Marik screamed.

Pause

Everyone looked at Marik.

"…Dramatic effect you know?" Marik said. Yami Marik looked at Ryou again and cracked his knuckles. "You're mine little lamb! Give me that chocolate!" He screamed. Like a little 5 year old Ryou screamed "No it's mine!" Yami Marik threw himself on Bakura and tried grabbing Ryou. Ryou screamed and runs right into the door.

Silence…just one more time

Yami Marik snickers as Bakura rubs his side and waited for Ryou to say something. On the mean time Marik played with his zipper.

Zipping noises

Ryou began sniffing and whimpering. He finally took his hand off his nose and began screaming and crying. "OW MY NOSE! I THINK ITS BROKEDED! CALL THE AMUBULENCE!" "Look what you did fatass! You made Ryou hit himself!" Bakura yelled. "It's gonna be ok now Ryou." He said in his normal tone and hugged him. Ryou sniffed and sighed. "I feel better already." He said blushing. Marik widens his eyes. "You'll feel better if you let _me_ take care of you Ryou. I know how to get a party started!" He moves his butt from side to side. "Come on Ryou let's go get those tacos you like." Bakura said. "The ones with the little Mexicans on it!" Ryou asked excitedly. Bakura nodded and Ryou screamed like a Mexican. "I like those tacos too! We can all go together!" Marik lied. "YEA! TACOS! I HAVEN'T HAD THOSE SINCE YESTERDAY!" Yami Marik said excitedly and hungrily. Ryou grabs his Mexican hat and grabs Bakura's hand. "We're going alone as in by "ourselves" excluding the presence of Marik and the fatass over there." Bakura said. "Ryou what's in your pants?" Marik asked ignoring Bakura. "My…" Ryou trailed off. Marik interrupts. "Besides your ass." He said. "What's an ass?" Ryou said confused. Yami Marik stared at Ryou pathetically as Bakura stared at Ryou stupidly while Marik looks at Ryou's pant zipper. "…Well I guess I'll show you this…ass." Ryou said. "Oh thank Ra! Ra you've come for me! I've done something good _haven't I!_ I LOVE YOU RA! Let's go Ryou I wanna see that ass." Marik said grabbing Ryou's hand. "You stay away from Ryou or I'll make your head into the shape of an ass!" Bakura yelled angrily. "I wanna…I wanna touch it!" Marik said googly eyed. Bakura gasped. "Isn't an ass those pigs in a blanket?" Ryou asked. "I WANT ONE!" Yami Marik screamed hungrily and drooled. Bakura slapped his head. "Ryou what's your ass?" He asked. Ryou looked around. He went to touch his hair and started whimpering hoping he wasn't wrong. He changed his mind and touched Marik. "Well…you're almost right, but not quite." Bakura said. "Your ass Ryou. This thingy." Marik said slapping Ryou's ass. "O-o-o-o-o-oh. Ow." Ryou said rubbing his butt. "For someone as smart as you, you sure are stupid." He said. "Thanks." Ryou said sarcastically. "Took you a pretty good long while." Bakura said relieved that Ryou understood. "So…how about it Ryou? May I?" Marik asked. "No!" Bakura screamed without hesitation. Yami Marik stared at Ryou's pants. "I can't believe you said something like that Marik not to mention slap it! Am I going to have to get a restraining _order!"_ Ryou asked upset. Yami Marik tuned everyone out and continued starting at Ryou's pants. He made a grab for Ryou's pants and stuck his hand in there. "WHAT THE _FUCK!"_ Bakura yelled. "Whoo go Yami you wild thing!" Marik cheered. "RAPE! RAPE! GET YAMI MARIK OUT OF THERE!" Ryou said in fear and shuddering, Yami Marik laughed maniacally. "YOUR HANDS ARE COLD!" Ryou screamed. "I GOT IT!" Yami Marik said hungrily. Ryou started screaming and pulled away. Bakura grabbed his ring and beat everyone on the head with it. Everything was quiet except the slap Marik gave Ryou. "Marik you're mine!" Bakura yelled. "You can have me when I'm done with Ryou." Marik said playing with Ryou's hair. "YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BALLS ARE MINE! I'M GOING TO BURN EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY FOR TOUCHING RYOU!" Bakura screamed bitchy. Yami Marik chewed on the candy bar retrieved from Ryou's pants and stares at everyone. "And you!" Bakura yelled turning to Yami Marik eating like a fatass on the floor. Yami Marik gulped. If you want something from Ryou's pants you just ask me and I'll get it for you." He said. "Excuse _me!…_Whatever. I just want my tacos!" Ryou said. "Aw, no not now Ryou. Fuck that." Bakura said sitting on the couch. "No more…tacos?" Ryou asked sticking out his bottom lip and sniffing.

"Hey guys wanna come to my dance party?" Yugi asked just coming in from nowhere. "Will there be food?" Yami Marik asked with his mouth full. "There sure will." Yami Yugi said in a deep sissy lady voice. "Count me in bitches." Yami Marik said. "NO I'M THROWING A DANCE PARTY TODAY AND IT WILL BEAT YOURS GOT THAT FAG, FAGG, AND FAGGOT!" Marik yelled. "Marik… there's only two of them." Ryou pointed out. "No shit Sherlock! Who said I wasn't called Bakura a fag?" He asked. "Bitch." Bakura said loud and clear. "It's time to th-th-th-th-th-throw a d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dance party!" Yami Yugi boomed in his deep sissy lady voice. Bakura laughed. "You're gay Yami seriously you are. No doubt about it. I have been convinced. Well I always thought you were but now I have evidence." Bakura said. "Alright right! Here's the deal! Becky you go get the DJ. Roxy you go get the party favors. Teletubby you go get the food and take super lez with you…to keep and eye on you because we all know how you are around food. Got it! BREAK!" Marik yelled. "Whose teletubby?" Yami Marik asked. "Dumbass that's you. Smart one." Bakura said. "Who's Roxy?" Ryou asked. "That would be you sexy. Because all hot girls are named Roxy. All the porn stars anyway. And you're sexy so…Roxy it is." Marik explained. "And I'm guessing I'm Becky." Bakura said. "Correctemundo! Becky because…I dunno why but you've always given me this strange family vibe that reminded me of my aunt Becky. She's just so damn ugly and so are you that's the reason! I'm so smart. I'm on a role today! Now! Super lez is at the museum. Go get her Teletubby." Marik said. "What's a DJ?" Bakura asked himself in confusion. "I-I can help you get your stuff Bakura and y-you can help m-me get m-mine." Ryou said with difficulty. "Sure Ryou." Bakura said going to grab his hand. "CODE RED! CODE RED! Aunt Becky has made a move on porno star Roxy! EVACUATE! EVACUATE!" Marik screamed grabbing Ryou and running out. Bakura sighed sadly. Yami Marik put an arm around Bakura. "It's ok buddy. Think of all the food I'm buying." He said trying to console him. "Yea the food you're buying…but what are we gonna have left to eat?" Bakura asked.

At the museum….

"Yo! Super lez let's go to the grocery store," Yami Marik called out. "Alright let's go. I'm bored anyway…and who you calling super lez tubby! I'll have you know I have a boyfriend!'" Ishizu said. "Who'd go out with you, you big fore headed, egomaniacal secretly–had-a-crush-on-me lesbian?" Yami Marik asked. "You're calling me…_ugly!"_ Ishizu cried. Bakura cooed. "Aw-w-w, Yami Marik didn't mean that. He really does love you and he's going to give you a big kiss right now." Bakura said pinching his cheek. "You can bet your ass I won't. She's going out with my brother for Ra' sake." Yami Marik said growling. "She's going out…with her brother…Marik "he's-a-fag" Ishtar? One: She's super desperate to even go out with something that ugly that looks like a cockroach with blond hair and two: what the fuck, she's fucking incest. She's messed up in the brain. All these year of psychic abilities have messed up her brain." Bakura said in an "I-think-you-are-so-o-o-o-weird" tone of voice. Ishizu rubbed her head. "I am seeing into the future…the future that holds both of you is hell! H-E-L-L! You can't be cruel to women." Ishizu yelled. "What do you mean?" Yami Marik asked. "What she's trying to say is we should stop being mean to women. But then again she's not a woman. And we're still ok being mean to Marik and all he's a full fledged woman…without the breasts and I dunno if he has one so…you get me?" Bakura said. "Mmm-hmm." Yami Marik said muffled due to the marshmallows he was choking on. "Now let's go get those groceries. My soap opera is going to start." Ishizu said. "Well I'm ditching you guys…Ishizu don't go hitting on too many girls and Yami Marik…watch your weight. I'm going to find myself a DJ." Bakura said walking away.

Meanwhile…

"Ok Roxy…now that we're alone…why don't we get down to business?" Marik giggled. Ryou looks through a notebook. "Yea we should. I have a lot of party favors to buy. Should I buy party hats? Everyone likes those." Ryou asked. Marik groaned. "No party hats! Party hats are for squares. We need balloons. Lot's of balloons. Ooh, ooh and streamers! Nice little gift bags with candy in it too! Chop-chop Ryou time is chocolate." Marik said clapping his hands. "Isn't it time is money?" Ryou asked. "Get with the times Ryou. That was so an hour ago. It's now time is chocolate so go…shoo shoo buy those supplies." Marik said watching Ryou run off. _I wonder what I was supposed to get_. Marik thought.

Back with Bakura….

"Fuck! What the fuck is a _DJ!"_ He asked himself frustrated and turning into a stadium. "I'll just look for one it here.

Back with Yami Marik….

"Ooh look Ishizu! Look at all the pretty ladies!" Yami Marik said gawking at the candy bars hungrily. "Yea, yea, yea whatever just get the food and let's go. I dunno why Marik has me baby-sit you…even though you are kinda cute." Ishizu said blushing a little. "That ones got a big ass!" He says ignoring Ishizu's compliment and picking up a kit-kat bar hyperly. "Down boy! Put it down! Down dammit! All the way!" Ishizu said strictly. Yami Marik whimpers like a doggy. "Would you be considered a brother to me?" Ishizu asked wonderingly. "Um…I don't think so. Well…in a way. But I like to think I'm not. I don't think I am because Marik's already your brother and even if we do look the same. Marik's really the one that gave birth to me…" Yami Marik gasped in shock. "What?" Ishizu asked. Yami Marik is still in his state of shock. "Marik's my…my mother!" He screamed. Ishizu cocked an eyebrow. "Don't you _see!_ Marik gave birth to me and mothers give birth too! OH MY GOD! All these years…and I realize this _now!"_ Yami Marik cried. Ishizu stepped away from Yami Marik and made a run for it.

A few hours later and back at the house….

Ryou was putting up streamers in the living room when Bakura walked in. "Hey Bakura, you're the first one here. Did you find your DJ?" Ryou asked. "Sure did. Easier than I thought." He said proudly. "Need any help?" He asked. Ryou nodded. "I can't put the streamer up here. Can you…give me a boost?" "Sure!" Bakura said putting Ryou on his shoulders and lifting him. "You let me go and I'll hurt you." Ryou said scared. "Don't worry. I won't let you fall." Bakura said. Marik barged through the door scaring Bakura and making him drop Ryou. "I invited the party guests!" He said. Ryou trembled and cried. "I'm not going to live me life to the fullest. Not after this!" He cried. "Marik you bitch! Can't you knock a_nymore_! I just dropped Ryou!" Bakura screamed. "Are you ok Ryou?" He asked in his normal tone of voice. Ryou sniffed. "I need a hug?" He smiled. Marik pushed Bakura out of the way and hugged Ryou. "There, there Ryou. It's gonna be ok now that I'm here." He said patting his back. "Anyway!" He said throwing Ryou on the floor and paced around the house. "We've invited a lot of people. Here's the list. Bakura began reading aloud:

Marik Ishaar

He paused. "You spelled your own last name wrong retard."

Continues

Yami Marik Ishtar

Yami Bakura Bakura

Pauses again. "Dude that's not my last name. I don't have a last name dip shit!"

Continues

Ryou "sexy" Bakura

"Well…what do you think of the guests?" Marik asked. "It's Just us you dumb blond!" Bakura yelled. "Bakura that is a sexist statement! A brunette, black, or brown-headed person can be just as stupid as you claim blondes to be!" Ryou screamed. "Whatever Ryou. Don't get all technical on me." Bakura said. Marik giggled lustfully. "I can get technical on you Ryou." Marik smiled. Yami Marik ran through the door panting a few minutes later. "Mo-mommy!" He cried. Everyone looked at Yami Marik. Yami Marik laughs while panting. "I've just fi-figured it out. Marik…you're my mommy!" He said. "Yami those candy bars are getting to your head. How the flying fuck can I be your _mommy!"_ Marik asked. "It's kinda hard to explain but you created me. You gave birth to me. You're my mommy!" Yami Marik said hugging Marik. "Then…if Marik's the mommy…who's the daddy?" Ryou asked. "Oh Ryou, I wonder about you everyday now." Bakura said. A light bulb flashed on Marik's head. (His first idea people) "I know! Ryou's the daddy! And mommies and daddies make-out. So Ryou let's get down to business. They also do this other thingy in the room. Yea I saw. I know. I _knew_. I've been knowing! I saw it when Ishizu was being born. " He said. "But you're younger than her!" Bakura shouted. "What's he talking about?" Ryou asked. "Ryou. No matter what…I'll take care of you and your mushy brain." Bakura said hugging him. "What's he talking about?" Ryou giggles "Kura?" Bakura widened his eyes. "I told you not to call me that!" He said embarrassed. Ryou giggled. "You know you like that pet name Kura." Ryou pinches Bakura's nose. "What's going on _here!"_ Marik asked upset. "Nothing" Ryou singsong-ed. "If you call Bakura Kura Ryou you can call me…Mari." Marik said linking onto his arm. Ryou and Bakura laughed. "Mari! That's a girls name!" He laughed. Yami Marik pulled out a candy bar and growled. "Don't make fun of my mommy!" He yelled smacking Ryou. Ryou rubbed his cheek. "That was uncalled for." He said. "Fuck yea it was! You're going to get it and your precious mommy too!" Bakura said laughing like the witch from the Wizard of OZ and rubbing his hands together.

Ding Dong

Ding Dong.

"Marik's a…(doorbell) ding dong," Bakura laughed. "Fuck you Bakura." Marik said. Bakura opened the door and started shouting "The DJ's here!" "It better be a good one." Marik said folding his arms. _I hope he brought food_. Yami Marik thought. _What's a DJ. Hmmmm. _Ryou thought. "I brought the DJ.. Derek Jeter." Bakura said walking in with him. Marik gasped in shock. "DEREK JETER THE ONE WHO PLAYS ON THE TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS! OH MY GOD! IT'S AN HONOR TO MEET YOU! Will you…will you sign my stomach. I'm your biggest fan. Sign it to Marik you're greatest greatest friend!" "Actually I play for the Yankees. I'm a baseball player." He said. "Oh. Fuck you then get out of here!" Marik said disappointed. "I dunno why you brought me here anyway. I tried explaining to this guy that I wasn't a DJ that my initials were juts D and J but he said he'd send me to…" He trailed off and whispered something to Bakura. "The shadow realm." Bakura said. "Yea the shadow realm." Derek Jeter said. "Well…no on likes you this is…Domino city we like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers." Marik said. "I like the Yankees." Yami Marik said. "Listen to mommy you fag!" Marik screamed. "Yes mommy." Yami Marik said putting his head down. "I like the dolphins." Ryou said. Everyone stared at Ryou and Yami Marik ate a candy bar. "Ryou…come here." Bakura ordered patting his thighs. Ryou walked over. "Yes…?" He puts on arm over Ryou. "Ryou the Dolphins…are the worst playing team ever. I'm talking about "ever". Ever since they lost Dan Marino it's been going down hill for them and they'd—coughs—once in a blue moon win," He said. "Oh. The I'll go with Atlanta Braves." Ryou said. "Can't this kid pick any good teams?" Jeter asked. "He's not really into sports." Bakura said. "Well we're not paying you Jeter get the hell out!" Marik shouted orders. Derek Jeter walks away.

Marik turned to face Bakura. "I send you out for an hour and you bring me a lousy baseball _player!_ You suck Bakura." Marik cried. "My parties ruined!" "I just phoned a DJ she'll be here in 5 minutes." Ryou said. "That's my Roxy." Marik said hugging Ryou. "Where the hell is my _Yami!"_ He asked. Bakura looked out the window. "Outside talking with Jeter." Bakura replied. Marik ran out to the balcony and shouted, "You disobeyed your mommy for talking to that filthy baseball player! Bad boy! Bad!" Marik scolded pointing his finger and wagging it at his Yami. "I'm sorry mommy? Can you forgive me?" Yami Marik asked. Marik thought hard and groaned. "You're not…hurting yourself again thinking are you?" Yami Marik asked. Marik groaned. "Leave me alone! I can think fine! And no I don't forgive you!" Marik screamed. "Why!" Yami Mairk asked shocked. "For being a smartass! Now get inside!" Marik yelled pointing inside the house. Yami Marik lowered his head in shame. "Well let's get this party started!" Marik screamed. " Give me a HEY!" "Marik's a HOE" Bakura followed. "Damn you." Marik said. "The DJ's not—doorbell rings—never mind she's here." Ryou said. Bakura opens the door. "False alarm its just super lez." Marik said. "It's no false alarm Marik. I am the DJ." Ishizu said seriously. Marik stayed quiet for a while. "Ryou…you know I love you and all but…why did you hire my _sister!"_ He asked. "Because I believe she has the instincts to be a DJ." Ryou smiled. "If I didn't love you so much Ryou…I would confuse you for one of Yugi's relatives." Marik said. "Are you ready to par-tay!" Ishizu asked through a microphone. Everyone stayed quiet except Ryou saying "YEA!"

Crickets chirp

"This little number is for my good fellow Yami Marik. I trust he knows this song. He always sings it in the shower. You sing the words too tubby." Ishizu said.

Intro to "Can't touch this plays

Yami Marik begins singing off key. "Can't touch this…"

(Ryou) "Candy bar" Ryou giggles.

(Yami Marik) "You can't touch this"

(Ryou) "Candy bar."

(Yami Marik) "M My-my-my-my candies hits me so hard makes me say oh my Ra!" "This is gonna be long." Marik said. (Yami Marik)"Thank you for blessing me with a stomach to enjoy lots of foods and I'm hyped when I first stick my candy bar in my mouth! And this is a candy bar you can't touch!"

(Ryou) Dun Dun Dun Dun Da-a-a-a Da-a-a-a

(Yami Marik) "You can't touch this"

(Ryou) "Candy bar"

(Yami Marik and Ryou) "Dun Dun Dun Dun Da-a-a-a Da-a-a-a you can't touch this"

(Ryou) "Candy bar"

(Yami Marik) "Look into my eyes ma-a-a-an…you can't touch this"

(Ryou) "Candy bar."

(Yami Marik)"Fatties are sweating' so pass them a wipe or a candy bar in the 90's to burn some calories. The charts are legit you better work hard or you might as well quit! That's word because you know…."

(Ryou) "Dun Dun Dun Dun da-a-a-a-a Da-a-a-a-a"

(Yami Marik) "You can't touch this…"

(Ryou) "Candy bar." Ryou pants. Dun dun dun dun—smacks his lips—Da-a-a-a da-a-a-a-a-a

(Yami Marik) "You can't touch this"

(Ryou) "Oh oh oh oh…oh oh oh oh…oh oh oh oh oh"

(Yami Marik) "Break it down" Yami Marik and Ryou dance around.

(Ryou) "Oh oh…ooh ooh oh oh ooh oh ooh oh"

(Yami Marik) "STOP!"

(Break)

(Resume)

(Yami Marik) "Feeding time"

Ishizu started clapping and put the microphone near her mouth. "Great song Yami Marik! You were spi-spi-spi-spicy!" Ishizu said. "Oh ra." Marik groaned smacking his head. "Are you sure she isn't secretly hanging out with Yugi? Because all that stuttering is a Yami Yugi/Yugi type of thing?" Bakura asked. "That song right there represented Yami Marik's personality. Who's our next victim?" _H-m-m-m-m!_ Ishizu thought. "Bakura!" She yelled through the microphone. "Ow shit. Damn. My ear." Bakura said covering his ears. "Hello. Hello! I'M BLIND!" Marik screamed. "Don't you mean deaf?" Ryou asked. "OH THE INHUMANITY! I can't hear anymore!" He cried. "Marik's a gay ass." Bakura said. "Fuck you Bakura!" Marik sniffed. "He can hear stupid dumbass." Ishizu said. "Don't call my mommy a dumbass!" Yami Marik screamed. "Here we go. This fag thinks Marik is still his fucking mother. Marik truly is a woman. Marik who the fuck did you _marry!_ The child you gave "birth" to is the ugliest thing I have ever looked at after you." Bakura said. "Well you're ugly too Bakura!" Marik screamed. "Then you're calling Ryou ugly too?" Bakura smirked. Marik looked at Ryou. "No Ryou's hot!" Marik yelled. "Then I guess I'm hot too." Bakura said still smirking. "NO!" Marik screamed. "Marik don't hurt yourself." Ishizu said. "Well whatever. What song is for me?" Bakura asked.

Bad to the bone intro plays

"Oh yea!" Bakura said excitedly.

(Ryou imitating guitar) "Der ner ne ner ne ner-r-r-r-r ner ner ne ner ne ner-r-r-r-r-r!"

(Bakura) "On the day I was born"

(Ryou) "Ner ne ner ne ner-r-r-r"

(Bakura) "All the nurses gathered around"

(Ryou) "Ner ne ner ne ner"

(Bakura) "They all spoke at once and they knew I was…Bad to the bone."

(Ryou) "Der ne ner ne ner-r-r-r-r-r-r ner ner ne ner ne ner-r-r-r-r-r ner"

(Bakura) "Bad to the bone"

(Yami Yugi) "B-b-b-b-b-b-bad" Ryou smacked Yami Yugi out of the way. (Ryou)"B-b-b-b-b-ad"

(Bakura) "Bad to the bone. I broke a thousand hearts."

(Ryou) "Der ne ner ne ner-r-r-r"

(Bakura) "Before I met you"

Ryou began to sing weakly. "Der ne ner…ne ner-r-r-r"

(Bakura) "I can make rich women beg…and make good women steal…all because I'm…hit it Ryou!"

(Ryou) "Bad to the bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o—Ryou held his note-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o—pants-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one!" Ryou falls to the floor in fetal position. "Another great performance by Bitchy Bitch Bakura the three B's! Next victim will be-e-e-e-e-e-e…" Marik hummed dramatic music. "Ryou!" She screamed. "Yay!" Ryou clapped his hands.

Slow tune plays

Plays intro to…

Ryou gasped. "I LOVE THIS SONG!" He cleared his throat and began.

(Ryou) "Mary had a little lamb…"

(Bakura) "Little Lamb"

(Marik) "Little lamb"

(Ryou) "Mary had a little lamb"

(Yami Marik) "Little candy bar"

The record scratches. Ryou started coughing and the record resumed.

(Ryou) "Mary had a little lamb"

(Bakura) "Little lamb"

(Marik) "Little lamb"

(Ryou) "Mary had a little lamb who's fleece…was…white…as…snow…o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" Ryou took a bow and hit his head on the table.

"And last…but definitely not least…Marik Ishtar!" Ishizu boomed. Marik started cheering and expected everyone else to cheer with him. Ryou clapped and smiled. "Thanks at least someone is awake!" Marik said. He blew a kiss to Ryou and ignored Bakura's cursing and mumbling and growling.

Intro to "Culo" plays

(Marik) "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

(Yami Marik imitating Lil' John) "Oka-a-ay!"

(Marik) "Ese hevito que esta enterito y tiene tremendo CULO! Esta tan lindo, esta tan rico, y tiene tremendo CULO! Hasme favor y meneate chico tienes tremndo CULO!"

Marik starts dancing around Ryou. "Papi's got an ass like…Bakura and Marik multiplied it's off the chain off the glass off the flip—slaps Ryou's ass-and with a couple more hits on that ass an ma-a-a-an I'll be wearing him out when I'm done paramedics gonna carry Ryou out."

Bakura turned red in the face and growled.

(Marik) "The night is young…and if you unzip your pants I'll give you some of this mighty tongue" Marik stuck his tongue. Ryou smiled. _What's he talking about? _Ryou thought. Bakura started sweating and watched Marik grab Ryou. "Stop! Stop! Stop! No! STOP THE FUCKING RECORD YOU LESBIAN!" Bakura yelled. Ishizu stopped the record. "What the fuck Marik get the fuck away from Ryou you fucking fag and…and stop licking him! What the fuck are you! Some sort of fucking dog! Reeses! Fuck! Fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck…fuck." Bakura panted. "FUCK!" He screamed one more time. "You done?" Ishizu asked. Bakura sighed. "Fuck." He grumbled. "Ryou's so-o-o- naïve. It's so cute don't change Ryou." Marik said kissing him. "Como le encanta." Ishizu said. (Spanish for how he likes it) Bakura growled and turned red. "Leave him alone Marik you fucking cockroach!" Bakura yelled. "Come here Ryou. Come and stand next to _me._" He said in his normal tone of voice. Ryou waved bye to Marik and stood next to Bakura. Ishizu scratched her head.

"Well as you know those were your personality songs…it's time to find out your—In a sexy voice—love stimulating songs." She said. "Yay!" Ryou said happily. "And our first victim is…" Marik made a drum roll. "Bakura!" She said. "Fucking bitch! What the fuck _bitch!_ I started first he was one of the last ones! I deserve to go first! If I was first the first time I should be first this time around too so get that straight!" Yami Marik yelled with his mouth full spitting everyone with food. "You tell her baby." Marik said. "Thank you mommy." He said. "Kiss ass. Kiss ass." Ishizu coughed. "What did you say _bitch!"_ Yami Marik asked. "OoOoOoOoOoOoO!" Bakura and Marik chanted. "O." Ryou said late. "I said you were a kiss ass! And your mommy too!" Ishizu screamed. "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry." Marik chanted. "Who's Jerry?" Ryou asked. "Who's Larry?" Bakura asked. "I dunno who's Jerry?" Ryou asked. "Whoever Larry is." Bakura said. "But I dunno who Larry is." Ryou said. "Exactly my point." Bakura said. "Huh?" Ryou said in confusion. Ishizu and Yami Marik stood away from each other in the far side of the room in fighting position. "This was just like the Alamo in 1911." Marik whispered. "That Alamo wasn't in 1911." Ryou said. "Shhh." Marik shushed. "My move! I choose you Pikachu!" Ishizu yelled. "I choose you! Butter Milk Pancake-chan!" Yami Marik yelled. "Fight!" They yelled. "My bets on the Pancake." Bakura said. "I bet on Ryou." Marik said. "Go Pikachu!' Ryou cheered. "Butter Milk Pancake-chan attack Pikachu with Aunt Jemima syrup blast!" Yami Marik yelled. "Butter Milk. Butter milk." The pancake said. "Pika! Pika! Fuck! Pika! I'm itchy!" Pikachu yelled. Pikachu died in Pancake syrup. "I win!" Bakura yelled. "Fine you win. Let's get started again you annoying bitches." Ishizu said. "What song did I get bitch!" Yami Marik yelled eating his pokemon (Butter Milk Pancake-chan).

I feel pretty intro plays

(Yami Marik) I feel hungry oh so hungry!

(Ryou) He feels hungry and starving you're gay!

(Yami Marik)And I pity any stomach, which isn't mine today

(Ryou) La la la la la la la….la la l-a-a-a

(Yami Marik) It feels hungry oh so hungry it's alarming how hungry I feel! And so hungry that I really can believe it's my stomach

(Ryou) La la la la la la la…la la la-a-a-a

(Yami Marik) See that pretty boy in that mirror there?

(Ryou) What mirror where. Ryou looks around.

(Yami Marik) Who can that attractive boy be. Yami Marik smiled showing his teeth.

(Ryou) Which

(Bakura) One

(Marik) Where

(Ryou) Whom—echoes-whom, whom who-o-o-o-o-om!

(Yami Marik) I feel hungry oh so hungry

Ryou stays quiet and Yami Marik glares at him. He nervously started singing again.

(Ryou) "He feels hungry and starving…you're gay!

(Yami Marik) I feel hungry that Mrs. America can resign for my pretty mommy!

Marik started sniffing and shed a tear. "That's my son." He said. Bakura rolled his eyes. "Kiss ass." "_What!"_ Yami Marik shouted. "Butter Milk Pancake-chan I choose you!" He boomed. "Butter Milk Pancake-chan?" "You ate him fat ass." Bakura said. "I summon Dark Necrofear!" He laughed evilly for several hours. "Ok Bakura. It's just a dumb monster that sucks ass. It only has 2,200 attack points. It's useless no wonder you lost to Yugi." Ryou said. "Shut up!" Bakura cried. "I saved your life in that duel!" "Yea but you endangered it!" Ryou screamed. "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" Marik chanted. "That was another great performance by Yami Mairk and background singer Ryou. Ryou…you need to work on your timing. Good try though." She said trying not to make another "Pokemon" duel start. Ryou gave a discouraged sigh. "Just when you thought it was over…" "I didn't think it was over." Bakura interrupted. "We've still got alo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ong way to go! And our next victim is…" The recorder plays scary music like the one in who wants to be a Millionaire when you're close to one million dollars. (Not that they'd get that far without pissing themselves) Fanfare plays. "Ryou is the next victim!" Ishizu screamed. "It's me again. Yay!" Ryou said happily clapping his hands. "He so cute." Marik said cupping his hands. Bakura growled.

Intro to "When the Saints…or whatever"

(Ryou) "Oh when the saints…go marching in…oh when the saints"

(Bakura) "Oh when the…um…" "Saints." Mairk corrected him.

(Ryou) "Go marching in! Oh how I'd like to be in that number when the saints go marching in!"

(Marik) Break it down! Starts rapping. "Oh when the saints"

Ryou imitates the DJ noises.

(Marik) G-g-g-g-g-go marching in O-o-o-o-o-o-oh when the saints…go…marching in!

(Ryou) "Weeky Week Weeki Week Wa."

"Very interesting piece by Marik and Ryou. Nice job rapping you really suck Marik." Ishizu said. "Oh and Ryou notify yourself that _I'm _the DJ don't go hurting yourself." She added. "Mommies a good rapper!" Yami Marik yelled. "M-m-m-m-m-m-marik Unit!" Marik rapped. "What was that? My love stimulating song? Well that's not a very good song." "Yea I see Ryou married doing it with his wife listening to "Oh when the saints go marching" to turn him on and give him that extra "boost." Bakura said laughing hysterically. "That's not funny!" Ryou screamed. "Next is Bakura. Yep…oh yea. Whoo." She said dully and without a care. "I know what my love stimulating song is just play the tape." Bakura said. "Why did I get "Oh when the saints go marching in?" Ryou asked. "Because you're cute Ryou." Marik said.

Record Begins playing

(Bakura) "Round and round you go…."

(Yami Marik) "What?"

(Bakura) "Round and round you go"

(Yami Marik) "Say what?"

(Bakura) "Round and Round you go…lemme hear you say Scrub the ground"

(Yami Marik) "Lemme hear you say…?"

(Bakura) "Scrub the ground" Bakura starts scrubbing the ground.

"Like get the Windex and start cleaning the floor?" Ryou asked out of nowhere.

Record scratches

Silence

Bakura raised an eyebrow and continues singing ignoring Ryou's stupid comment.

Record resumes

(Bakura) "Scrub the ground. "

"What else happens?" Yami Marik asked. Bakura shrugged and hummed the song looking confused and singing only that part that said scrub the ground.

"Why is Bakura going low like that?" Ryou asked. "Because he's scrubbing the ground." Marik replied. Ryou cocked an eyebrow. "Cleaning the floor." Marik corrected himself. "Oh." Ryou said. "And our last victim for love stimulating songs…is…well…Marik." Ishizu said. "I know mine too because I'm sexy." Marik said. Bakura coughed hysterically. "Sorry I'm sick." He lied. "Yes right kiss my ass Bakura." "Yea kiss his ass Bakura!" Yami Marik shouted. "Put a sock in it." Bakura said folding his arms.

Record begins playing

(Marik) "Outrageous when I move my body outrageous when I'm at a party Outrageous in my sexy jeans outrageous when I'm on the scene. Outrages as I wanna be got this fella—points to Ryou- chasin' me It's about time I hit the streets and got this boy still fe-e-e-eling on me!"

Bakura gasped.

(Marik) "And if you don't like it then…blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

Cruise on a jeep so that nobody knows…damn it's so hot so you take off all your clothes" Starts stripping and wraps his shirt around Ryou. "Stop! Stop! No this is an outrage! Marik get your shirt off Ryou and move 50 feet away! Now step!" Bakura yelled pointing to the other side of the room. Marik finally obeyed Bakura and moved to the other side of the room but before he left gave Ryou a kiss and ran behind Yami Marik. "Protect mommy sweetie." He said. "Ok." Yami Marik said smiling. "And now we have almost come to the finale of our show…" "No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" Ryou screamed. "Ye-e-e-e-e-e-s-s-s-s-s-s-s!" Bakura screamed. "These songs…symbolize you. Yami Marik…if you please." Ishizu said. "I…um…I don't wanna!" He said sticking out his lip. "I know my song. I only listen to it everyday. It's definitely Chop Suey. Go hard rockers!" Bakura said doing to "rock-on" sign. "Thank you, thank you." He said bowing and pulling a Ryou. (The hitting your head against the table when you by that's what I mean) "Mine is another kitty song like…I dunno Ring around the Rosies." Ryou said disappointed. "No Ryou yours is a cool song. I'll play it." Ishizu said.

Record begins to play music

"I…love…this…song! And it's not a kitty song! Reminds me of my home town really." Ryou said.

Ryou clears his throat. "London Bridge is falling down…falling down…falling down…London bridge is falling down…my fair lad-y!" Ryou smiles. "Aw-w-w-w-w! That's so cute Ryou!" Marik cooed. Bakura grumbled. "And now…the moment I've…I mean we've been waiting for…" Marik makes a drum roll "THE FINALE!" She screamed. "NO-O-O-O-O-O-O!" Ryou screamed. "YES BABY!" Bakura screamed. "WE EAT…AT LAST!" Yami Marik shouted. "Now Marik, sing your song like I taught you when you were little." Ishizu said. Marik cleared his throat and inhales. "I love you…you love me…we're a happy fam-I-ly with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you—kisses Ryou and interrupts his song with a kissing and moaning session with Ryou—" "Continue!" Bakura yelled angrily pulling Marik away. Marik smiled. "Won't you say you lo-ve me-e-e-e-e-e-e—e-e-e-e-e-e-e too-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o" Marik holds the note. "Yay!" Ishizu said clapping her hands. "See ya." She said walking away.

"Well…this was an interesting evening. I sure had fun. What did you guys learn from this experience?" Ryou asked. "I learned…that…if you push your tongue just right in front of Ryou's teeth…he'll open up for you and you could French." Marik smiled. "I learned that if you punch someone as hard as you can you can get 5 or more teeth out of their mouth and if you're really good…like me…you'll kill them like I'll do to you if you keep touching Ryou!" Bakura screamed through gritting teeth. "I learned…that Marik's really my mommy and fish can give you diarrhea if not eaten properly." Yami Marik said holding his stomach. "Well I learned…" "No one cares." Bakura said. "I learned that Bakura is mean to me and yet he overprotects me…but that's ok because I still like him." Ryou said smiling. "I learned…" "Wait what _the fuck!_ How'd you get in _here!"_ Bakura asked. "I learned that you all suck in d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dueling!" Yami Yugi boomed. "You try going about the show if it wasn't called Yu-gi-oh and it was called:

"Ry-ou-oh!"

"Or Ma-rik-oh!"

"Or Fo-od-oh!"

"Or Ba-kura-oh. See if you win every duel." Bakura said.

"I'll go about just fine! I'll always win because you all suck and with the millennium puzzle still in my possession you'll never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever" Yami Yugi goes on for about two hours.

Ryou makes himself comfortable on the couch and falls asleep.

Bakura plays with this long stand of hair in his face.

Marik sucks his thumb and Yami Marik munches on potato chips.

"Ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever…"

Yami Yugi dies.

Bakura grabs his puzzle. "Never get it in my possession huh?" He asked smirking. Ryou gave this super, super cute yawn that made you wanna go… Aw-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! "I'm tucking Ryou into bed. I guess the dance party really took a lot out of him." Bakura said. "Either that…or I was too wild for him." Marik giggled. "Get out of my house." Bakura ordered. "NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!" Marik goes on for about two hours. Yami Marik continues munching on potato chips.

Marik…explodes.

Yami Marik starts choking on his potato chips. "MO-MOMMY!" He cried. Bakura starts laughing hysterically. "I never got to…-sniffs—tell my mommy I loved her…him!" Yami Marik cried. Yami Marik cried for four hours

…and sadly…dies too. (not really sadly)

"Wow…this is great. New torture technique for everyone! Time to put Ryou to bed." Bakura said.

Everyone died from some strange way…except Bakura and Ryou who stayed sleeping forever. Bakura got a job as a pharmacist and killed more people by giving them "medicine". Ryou went in the Guinness world record book for sleeping the longest. Yami Marik lost one pound from crying so much and went on the obese channel and decided…it as time for him to get liposuction. Marik dyed his hair purple and became the next Egyptian idol (replica of American idol) and got Ryou by the back. Yugi and Yami Yugi both got hit by trucks on their way to their grandmas house one day and Marik became the new pharaoh or "Mommy Pharaoh" Alas no on ever found out who the Yami Marik's daddy was and Yami Marik stayed as a bastard.

One of my more stupid/funny stories. Very disturbing, but who says an innocent girl can't be…hehehahahaho. Lol!

Bakura: Smart of you to make me the only one living. It makes me feel special.

You are special. You're special enough to get into special ED.

Bakura...I auditioned for this story and this is how you treat me! Where's my lawyer?

I didn't make one for you.

Bakura: stays quiet

Hugs Bakura Wish I could! Grr! I want a Bakura Plushy to hug and snuggle with...luckily I AM! laughs evilly I'll hug it and do crap to it like I did to my Link doll.

Link doll: Help us!

One of my more stupid/funny stories. Very disturbing, but who says an innocent girl can't be…hehehahahaho. Lol! R&R please


End file.
